Saturday, October 8, 2011

I feel so pathetic, you just haven’t heard it all

You might have been in this kind of state.

When you know you did something wrong. You realized what you’ve done and regret it. You’ve said your apology. You’re struggling to make it better, yet people still accusing you for the worst thing you never did, not even crossed your mind.

Well, I’ve been there a lot, like a lot. It breaks my heart into pieces. But I have the urge to write this after the recent one.

One thing that really crossed my mind was: To all the people who wasting time imagining things I never did, You’ll regret reading this thought of mine. Because when you find it, I’m about to bid a goodbye. Hellyeah. I was thinking that as the best ending for your suspicions. But I guess, that kind of farewell is too good to you. What if I’ll just stand here, proudly wipe my unshed tears, smiling widely while keep doing my responsibility, smirking while chasing my own happiness, my dreams.

I fully understand that disappointment leads to anger. I fully regret, but that’s not a reason for you to forgive. I say sorry, but when you find It’s easy to forgive, you won’t easily forget. I do understand, I really do.

There’s thing you should think over and over again. I’m one of those ordinary people. Maybe you’re one of ‘em too.

“My life is double sided, just like yours.”

I make mistakes. People make mistakes. It could be me, it could be you, it could be a person close to you, it could be anyone. It’s just how they’re gonna face it. So..

People, please let alone my wrong doing in the past. Just let me make it up to you, to All of you. Even it’s hard, even it’ll take a long time, I’m willing to burden my self to make it true. Even when you’re shifting on your seat, I’ll keep on my track. Even when you’re no longer there to wait for me because you’re losing intention to see the result, losing appetite to watch my struggle, tired of waiting to see my breakdown only to find my hardiness enduring everything. I’ll keep on my track. I’ll keep fixing things, while pursuing my dreams..

That’s the way I face it.

“Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme. To remind myself how I tried so hard.”

Ps: yeah, I’m listening these songs and mentally cursing and weeping while writing/typing. well, Linkin’ Park - What I’ve Done, Linkin’ Park - In The End.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

It’s really painful when you really love someone only to find out that both of you need each other but close enough to hurt each other at the same time. You want to keep a distance for awhile, at least to compose yourself. But you’re too afraid to take a step because you know you’re such a buffer for him/her and he/she needs you as a buffer too, for at least not to hurt someone else. Both of you are the one who bear with the pain each other brings and you two also heal each other.

And it really hurts …

Maybe you feel it too. Maybe in your love-life, family, friendship, even with your foe.

Do you?